


Yes, You Are

by Bini_28



Series: The Most Important Person [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Daichi is the best, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I just wanted to write Daichi comforting Suga okay, M/M, Suga is sad, This is mostly venting, they are dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:40:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27104362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bini_28/pseuds/Bini_28
Summary: Even though Sugawara Koushi is in his third and last year of high school, and is Karasuno's volleyball club's vice-captain, he isn't the regular setter of their team, and even though he is always encouraging everybody, he isn't happy with the situation - but he never told anyone about it, until Daichi finally asks what's wrong.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Series: The Most Important Person [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1948648
Comments: 2
Kudos: 74





	Yes, You Are

Hinata's spiked ball slammed on the court, quick like lightning. A sharp whistle sounded through the gym. 25:22. They won the third set, the whole match. Tanaka roared in happiness, Nishinoya jumped on his back. Daichi hugged Asahi. Suga smiled widely from the sideline at his team's happiness, joining them to shake hands with the team that came over to Karasuno for a practice match. As the team cleaned the gym, they were energetic as ever. Hinata didn't stop running around, bragging about his awesome last spike, while Kageyama (who seemed to always be by his side only to say it) cleared up that the dumbass only scored thanks to his toss.

Suga watched everything around him while swiping the floor. The atmosphere was great, he loved his team and he loved seeing them so happy, but his stomach ached even though he wasn't hungry. He wasn't as excited as his friends were about winning the game, even though it clearly had been a good sign of the team's improvement. He knew very well why he was feeling unhappy, and he hated it.

Somehow, by the time they almost finished, Daichi and Suga were remaining alone in the gym. It wasn't rare that everyone disappeared beside them, probably on purpose, as the whole team knew they were dating for the past few months - most of them realized it even before the two had the balls to confess to each other. However, contrary to the rumors that would sometimes come up, they were NOT making out in the club room after practice. Mostly, it was just cuddling and talking about life.

When they realized it was just the two of them, Daichi got closer to his boyfriend. Suga smiled at him, trying to show everything was alright. “You played great,” he said, hoping to close off the topic of the match right at the beginning, so it won’t be relevant later. He did this very often recently, not keeping conversations about volleyball for more than two sentences.

“Thanks,” Daichi smiled, “I feel like we are really starting to get the hang on that sync attack,” Daichi could talk hours about volleyball strategies. Suga prayed that today he won’t have much to say. “Anyway, what’s up with you? Doing alright?” So Daichi had noticed his dissatisfaction. Suga had really tried not to let it get to him, he tried it every time, and usually he managed not to let his feelings on the matter show. Daichi was the person he trusted the most, who knew him best. This was the one thing he never wanted to talk to Daichi about, it was unfair for him.

“A little tired”, Suga gave his usual excuse for “I’m feeling down right now for no apparent reason and I don’t want to open it up because I don't want to deal with the emotions that make me feel like that”.  
“Is that all?” Daichi put his hand on Suga’s shoulder, gentle like he always was with Suga and Suga alone. Suga loved him, really, and he had for months. He wasn’t mad at anything that was Daichi’s actual fault, but he was frustrated, and it was building up since the school year began.

He remembered how Daichi told Kageyama that if he and Hinata won’t cooperate and win the 3 on 3 match, Kageyama will never play as setter. He probably didn’t understand it back then or even now, but for Suga, these words meant “I know Kageyama’s a better setter than you’ll ever be, even as a first-year. I prefer him to be our starting setter, so I’ll do everything to motivate him to be better so he would get that role.” When Suga actually saw the younger setter play during that 3 on 3 match, he understood his gut feeling was right. Kageyama was already better than him, and he was two years younger. He would definitely be the one to take the regular spot when they start to go on official matches.  
The volleyball club was a huge part in Suga’s life since his first year in Karasuno. He played the sport before, but he was never as passionate about it as he was when he started highschool. He never played as the starting setter in his first years, because there was a talented setter a year older who was really amazing, and he was super excited for his final year in highschool, where he would finally be the starting setter, as well as act as vice-captain, and together with Daichi, they would try to pick up the fallen powerhouse club and get to nationals. 

After the first match Kageyama played as regular, and Suga was switched on only for a few minutes, Suga couldn’t help but feel terrible. It’s for the best of the group, he reminded himself. He loved the team, so he was glad to see them getting better, he tried to convince himself. It helped to some extent, but as the weeks went by, and he was switched in for a few points at best, the frustration piled up. At the game today he played only in the second set, which they lost, so he really couldn’t feel like he contributed anything to the final outcome of the match.

“Yeah, nothing happened,” Suga replied to Daichi’s question. That was actually the honest answer - nothing happened, in the year when everything was supposed to happen. “Let's head home,"

Suga didn't arrive at the afternoon practice the next day. He had a super important paper due the next day, which he remembered only the night before. He had never missed out on a practice for school reasons before, but he felt like even though he enjoyed practicing with his team, skipping just once wouldn't hurt, it won't harm them next time they play a match, because he wouldn't have an important role anyway. He texted Daichi he was not feeling well and headed home. He did finish the paper in time, but his stomach hurt from guilt. Skipping practice will only make him less significant on the team. Suga reminded himself he had an important task to do, and it was okay to sometimes prioritize his studies. Still, he felt bad about skipping so easily.

Daichi met up with him the next day before practice. "Feeling better?" the caring, kind and handsome boy asked him. Suga hugged him and nodded. "we missed you at practice," He smiled.  
"Did you?" the question came out more annoyed than he meant to, but he really doubted his presence, or lack of it, made such a change.

"Obviously, Tanaka and Nishinoya made a mess, as usual, but you weren't there to scold them. Also, we were doing a match but one of the teams missed a setter, and we were an odd number,” Daichi didn’t seem to notice the bitterness in Suga’s voice.  
"Oh, um, sorry I couldn't make it," Suga mumbled, looking at the floor. 

“Is everything okay, Suga?” Daichi asked him as they were on their way to open the club room. Suga just entered the room, and he dropped to a seat on the floor, his head between his hands. He didn’t know what to say, he didn’t want to lie to Daichi about it anymore, but what good can come out of it? He didn’t want to guilt-trip his captain into letting him play, or something like that. He was selfish and he needed to accept the fact that this is not going to be his year, he is simply not good enough for that.

“I can’t do it anymore, Daichi,” He decided to open up about it, maybe after months of repressing his feelings of frustration and inferiority, speaking will help him.  
“What do you mean? You don’t plan to break up with me, do you?” Daichi sat down next to him. He seemed worried, but his tone was still light.  
“Huh? No, definitely not. I love you. It’s not about that.” Suga said without looking up.  
“Then what is it about?”

“The club,” Suga spoke very quietly, “I know it's selfish, it’s so selfish and I shouldn’t think about it like that, it’s unfair for the team, and you, and Kageyama, so there’s nothing we can do about it.” 

“Are you talking about Kageyama playing as our starting setter?” Daichi asked, Suga nodded. “Oh, Suga… I know how hard it must be, but volleyball is much more than the official matches, it’s also practice, and the club-”

“No, you don’t know!” Suga blurted, then took a deep breath, realizing he raised his voice. Damn it, he let himself get emotional. “You have played as a regular since you joined the team, you are the team captain and you are so essential to the group at all times. You deserve that, and everyone thinks so too. It’s our last year of highschool, Daichi, and you get to experience everything. You don’t get the feeling of starting the year that’s supposed to be your best year by hearing that there's a new setter in the team and seeing how he’s so much better than you.” he felt his throat tighten and the tears gather in his eyes. “Damn it, sometimes I wish they didn’t win that 3-on-3 match back then.” 

“I’m sorry you feel that way, you’re right, I don't really know that feeling, but as I said, there’s so much more to volleyball, and look how far we’ve come, as a team.” Daichi tried to comfort him, and Suga felt really bad, he hated himself for putting his boyfriend in a situation like that. Daichi couldn’t tell him that everything would be alright, because there was nothing he could do that would make Suga feel less useless and selfish. 

“Of course, it’s always the team. I know that the fact I’m not the setter is better for the team, because if I was the setter instead of Kageyama, we wouldn’t win half the matches we did. But at some point I can’t keep looking only about the ‘greater good’ of the team anymore! I’m allowed to think about myself sometimes!” Suga had started to cry somewhere around ‘we wouldn’t win’, and the rest of his sentence was pretty much incoherent. Daichi hugged him tight. It's not like the captain never saw him cry before, but this time it was different, because it was about him, in some way.

“Suga, dear, of course it’s hard to see past the actual games, and it’s true they’re the purpose of the club, but there is so much more. You have no idea how important your presence is in the group. You are always there to be the voice of reason when Kageyama and Hinata fight, you calm Asahi’s anxieties and Yamaguchi’s nervousness, you motivate every single person in our team to do better, you stay late after practice to toss to anyone who asks, and you help me so much. This club wouldn't be half as fun or rewarding if I didn’t have you by my side, to keep my legs on the ground.”  
Daichi had a point, Suga did always try to help and be there for everyone. His main principle is life was to put other people first, always be observant of whether they needed help or comfort, stay calm even in bad situations so others could be optimistic, act kind even to people he disliked. It wasn’t a facade or an act, he truly cared about other people, but it was taking a toll on him, and at some point, he couldn’t just smile and say he’s enjoying being seen only as a reliable guy.

“I appreciate this, but Daichi, if I wanted to support you guys, I would’ve become a team manager. I want to play volleyball! I want to stand there on the court, disgusting and sweaty, but full of adrenaline and pride.” He sobbed, his voice changing from whisper to nearly a shout as he couldn’t control his emotion. He took a deep breath. Stay optimistic, don’t break down. “Well, I’m glad I can be of some help, though.”

“You’re more than ‘some help’, you are needed. The whole team looks up to you”

“Do they?” It really didn’t make sense to Suga. Most of the time, he felt like he was just there, offering smiles or jokes or cheers. Could he really be anything more than a nice presence?

“Yes, oh god, Suga, why can’t you see how amazing you are? Even when you’re not on the court, we feel your presence everywhere. You inspire me, and everyone else, to be better, and kinder,” Daichi started stroking Suga’s hair with one hand, his other wrapping around his boyfriend. Suga started crying harder as he heard the words.

“How can you say that? I just told you, even if I’m acting nice… I am still so selfish. I encourage everyone when all I wish is to be in their place.” He could barely speak at that point, even when he felt he calmed down, as soon as he opened his mouth tears started flowing again. “I’m sorry I’m bothering you about that. There's nothing we can actually do about it, I know it. I just know I have to learn to deal with the fact I am not the type to be a regular player. It’s such bad timing, too, practice starts soon, right?” He kinda wanted to finish this conversation already. He felt drained and exhausted, and the day barely started. 

“Hey, Suga, look at me and listen. Practice can wait a few minutes, and Ukai also has a key so they can start without us. I’m staying here with you. I know I can’t magically make everything better, I don’t know what I can do about it. You are an amazing player, I couldn’t wait for this year when we will finally play together in official matches, really.” Suga looked up at the captain, who wiped a tear off his wet cheek. The sight of Daichi’s face, despite still blurry from tears, calmed him down a little. He was so familiar, so trustworthy, a safe ground. 

“But the thing is, even when you are standing on the sidelines, when you see us play, remember that this couldn’t have been done without you. Asahi wouldn’t serve so forcefully without the confidence you help him gather, Hinata’s all-over-the-place playing style is more focused because he learned from you, as I told you already, every move I make during the game is possible thanks to you, and the sense of safety you give me. I think most of all, the one you had the biggest impact on is Kageyama. He needs to have a model he can look up to about how to be a part of a group, and he can still learn a lot of techniques from you. Every time you watch him set the ball, remember he couldn’t do it without you.”

“I… I am always trying to be my best self with the club, the happiest and most optimistic… I felt like if I can't be of use on the court, I’ll try my best off it, and I’m just… I’m glad it shows. Am I really that important?” Suga had a hard time believing it, but Daichi is not the type to sugarcoat stuff out of pity. 

“Yes! Yes you are!” Daichi exclaimed, his hand cupping Suga’s face and smiled at him. Suga couldn’t help but smile back a little bit through his tears. “I see you smiling there, hey, aren’t these tears a little happier now?”

“I love you Daichi, thank you,” Suga said, and made himself comfortable in Daichi’s arms, breathing deeply as he calmed down. He felt like he was being too dramatic, now when he was able to think rationally again. He was so grateful Daichi was there for him, he listened, he didn’t get mad at him for thinking of himself instead of the team, and he gave Suga stuff to think about, that will make him feel better.

“Never forget what I told you now. I don’t know if there’s anything else I can do for you, but things will get better. We have the most awesome team, and this year would be the best.” Suga didn’t reply, he just stayed there. He never doubted the fact Daichi loved him, but what he said about Suga being essential, and an inspiration to people on the team made him develop a new point of view about his place on the team. Suga was still tearing up a little, but he felt okay enough for Daichi to gently cup his cheek and kiss his trembling lip softly, just to show him how much he cares and loves his vice-captain.

The door was suddenly opened widely, surprising both of them. Suga looked up from his seat in the middle of the club room floor. It was no other than the starting setter himself, followed by the short redhead.

“Oh, sorry” Kageyama said as he noticed the couple. 

“So you ARE making out in the club room?” Hinata exclaimed.

“Hinata, you Dumbass” Kageyama slapped the back of his head, “He’s crying.” He whispered but it was loud enough Suga could hear.

“Oh gosh, I’m sorry Suga-senpai!” Hinata was loud as always. “Are you okay??”

“Everything’s fine, I got this,” Daichi said. “Go ahead to practice, we’ll join you soon,” the two first-years left, still bickering. When the door closed, Daichi helped Suga up. “Let’s go to the locker room and change, you should wash your face,” Suga nodded. He didn’t want to show up to practice so drained, with red puffy eyes. 

But he could do it. It's okay if for one practice, he won’t be as lively or as helpful. He could take some time for himself, he would be okay eventually and could return to his friends, and even if he wasn’t on the court, he was important, he was helpful, and he had a purpose. 

On his way to the afternoon practice the next day, he felt the knot in his stomach disappearing, filling himself with a sense of relief he didn't experience since the school year began.

**Author's Note:**

> Just your local Suga kinnie projecting because all I want in my life is for Daichi Sawamura to be real and give me validation. I just needed to vent, and fanfictions is a really nice way to do it.  
> I hope you enjoyed reading this! comments make me really happy too! <3


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